The person you talk to most each day should be your best friend, adviser, your motivator and your guardian. They would never sabotage your intentions or make bad judgements. Or do they? Because the person you talk to most, is yourself!
Stop and think for a brief moment about this. The answer is simple. We talk to ourselves in a process called self-talk. This is the constant internal conversation which occurs except when we take consciously in control. When a considered decision is necessary, consciousness takes over. The other point we quickly must accept is that uch of your self-talk of today is the same as it was yesterday in a repetitive loop. It is the conversation of worry, blame and self doubt. But it does not have to be so.
Self-talk is the product of the subconscious mind which is the store of all experiences and little plans for reaction to those experiences when they occur again. When we are born we have had little in the way of past experience. We have nothing on which to base a judgement. The way needs are responded must be seen to be the only way life is or will be. We do not have language in those early days so even as experiences accumulate there is no internal mechanism through which to rationalise them. These are memories of experience stored without words. Deep inexplicable emotions which flow back without words to express the emotion.
It is possible to tune into the self-talk and become involved in it but even while this is happening there is a further silent deeper layer of awareness making judgements. The subconscious is the protector. It sees threats and sends instantaneous messages into the body to deal with the threat. The shock response is the extreme example. Immediate, uncontrolled and based on an incident without warning. Sometimes inexplicable emotions of a response which may be inaccurate.
Often the shock or fright reaction is an overreaction causing unnecessary emotions. This happens more often than we are conscious of. The subconscious is constantly making judgements. If they are wrong, due to bad experience, the resultant emotions are unwarranted stress and anxiety.
We are born free but fall immediately under the influence of those whom we must respect. Our life, freedom and future judgements are in their hands.
There are other layers to the basis of judgement. We are on the planet by survival of the fittest of our ancestors. If they were not resistant to disease and did not have a healthy respect for danger it is unlikely that you would have made it this far. Genetically we are strong and cautious.
Survival had other components. Constant current daily news tells of people being killed in conflicts which are: tribal, religious, cultural or political. Each of our individual histories has a tale to tell in this respect. Many people therefore have very deep convictions which their ancestors fought for in this horrible selection.
Such deep convictions – beliefs – are supported by rituals to reinforce them . These lessons of history are recorded genetically by default – through survival – and can manifest in intense beliefs and adherence which are the very base from which all judgement is made.
There is so much more happening at subconscious level to manage our daily lives. They form the filter for our personal version and interpretation of daily life. Our beliefs and experiences are managed by rituals, routines and habits and of course self-talk which is the running commentary, the theme tune so to speak which is felt perhaps only at emotional level.
The question is simple. What is the quality of this inner conversation and interpretation of the world.
We can be ruled by experience or confront and learn from them.
The comfort zone
The parameters within we are self-limited are called the comfort zone. They are the boundaries as we see it through our personal filter. We can be sabotaged by the subconscious at a level of which we are not conscious. It is the purpose of the subconscious to operate as awareness and defence but not in the forefront of the mind causing overt fear. The boundaries of the comfort zone are extreme caution. It is saying: do not speak out. do not stick your neck out, don’t take the risk, run for cover. It causes stress to go beyond this point.
In the opposite extreme, someone performing stunts will confronts the boundaries of cautious judgement. This gives an amazing buzz of freedom which is enjoyed by the observer also. Many use the similar challenge of the rollercoaster. It is exhilarating to go beyond the comfort zone. This is nature’s reward for self-improvement.
So is your subconscious mind your friend or is it controlling you by an uncomfortable conversation of poor judgements?
Are your attempts at self-discovery sabotaged by uncontrolled negative self-talk? Because it is primarily designed to be defensive, self-talk is inclined to be negative. The stuntman or woman proves that there is nothing which cannot be confronted. We can change our deepest beliefs no matter how painful that may be. We can move to the other side of the world and completely change all the rhythms of the body. Others can brainwash or hypnotise us. We cannot change our experiences but we can change how we use them and learn from them.
We have consciousness to enable to manage this.
- We can do it through taking control of self-talk.
- Learn how to defeat the negativity which is blocking your success.
- Improve the quality of your judgements
- Stop self-sabotage which is blocking your route to success
- Turn your subconscious into a supportive friend.
- Implant new habits into your routines and rituals.
- Reinterpret and learn from experiences.
- Grasp the freedom with which you were born to use for your success.
- Simply put: talk your way to success.
Read my book, The Mind Diet. Food for thought.
Just click the link
==here> The Mind Diet